Shala Nicely, LPC OCD Treatment with ERP Therapy
Shala Nicely, LPC OCD Treatment with ERP Therapy
Getting Unstuck from OCD with a New Attitude
If you’ve been struggling with OCD for a long time, there’s a good chance you’ve been working really hard.
You’ve tried to understand how OCD is keeping you stuck.
You’ve tried to tolerate anxiety.
You’ve tried to do ERP “the right way.”
And yet, reclaiming your life can still feel exhausting and just plain hard.
That’s where attitude comes in.
Attitude isn’t about being positive, confident, or fearless. It’s about how you relate to OCD, anxiety, yourself, ERP, and uncertainty while you’re doing the work. And those new mindsets quietly shape everything.
When your attitude shifts, several things often get easier
You feel steadier, even when symptoms are loud.
Not because anxiety disappears, but because it no longer runs the show.
ERP feels less punishing and more purposeful.
You’re no longer just enduring anxiety. You’re choosing how to respond to it.
Self-criticism softens.
You stop treating anxiety or setbacks as evidence you’re doing recovery wrong.
You spend less time arguing with your mind.
That alone can free up an enormous amount of mental energy.
You begin to feel a growing sense of your own power.
As your attitude shifts, OCD’s influence starts to shrink.
Many people assume recovery depends only on doing harder exposures or pushing through more discomfort. What often gets missed is that the stance you take while facing fear can either amplify OCD’s power or quietly take it away.
This is not a small thing. Over time, it can be the difference between white-knuckling ERP and building a recovery that actually feels livable.
About this guide
Before you scroll any further, let’s name something important.
Seeing a long list of articles can feel overwhelming. And when you feel overwhelmed, OCD often whispers, This is too much. Let’s just come back later.
Later turns into never. And that’s one of OCD’s favorite outcomes.
So here’s a different approach.
You don’t need to read every article.
You don’t need to absorb this all at once.
This page is designed to be used slowly, imperfectly, and over time.
Pick one article that speaks to you and read it. Try one small idea from it, even if you’re unsure. Then go live your life. You can bookmark this page and come back when you need support, clarity, or a reminder that you’re not off track.
You don’t owe this page productivity.
You don’t owe it completion.
You’re here to build a relationship with recovery that supports you, not overwhelms you.
If you’re here, you’re already doing something meaningful.
Find what you need right now
You don’t need to start at the top or work your way through. Use these links to jump to what feels most supportive today. Most people start with just one section and come back later for more.
Reframe Your Relationship With OCD
Empower yourself by seeing OCD through different eyes, one step at a time.
Treat Yourself With More Compassion
Learn how supporting yourself with kindness can provide a strong foundation for your recovery.
Change How You Respond to Anxiety
Turn anxiety into a powerful tool instead of fuel for OCD, one choice at a time.
Approach ERP With Intention
Explore how a new attitude toward ERP impacts how effective exposures can be.
Build Motivation for ERP Practice
Find ways to keep going when motivation dips or resistance shows up.
Bring Confidence and Creativity Into ERP
Discover how humor, playfulness, and confidence can weaken OCD’s grip.
Think Differently About Recovery
Move away from cure-focused thinking and toward sustainable, livable recovery.
Make Space for Other Emotions
Learn how to relate to grief, shame, regret, and vulnerability without turning them into new struggles.
A note of gratitude
I first learned about the importance of attitude from Reid Wilson, PhD, at my very first IOCDF conference in 2010. His work had a profound impact on my own recovery and over the past 15+ years became a foundation for how I approach helping others.
If you’d like to learn more about Reid’s empowering perspective, please see the Afterword to my memoir, Is Fred in the Refrigerator? Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life.
Reframe your relationship with OCD
OCD gains power when it’s treated as an authority, a warning system, or a voice that must be taken seriously. This section helps you shift how you relate to OCD so it stops dictating your choices. As your perspective changes, OCD often becomes easier to respond to with intention instead of urgency.
The 4 Cs of OCD
Understand how stopping the search for certainty, comfort and control through compulsions weakens OCD’s grasp.
Don’t Give OCD Credit for Your Strengths
Learn how to stop letting OCD dissuade you from doing ERP by taking credit for your positive qualities.
How Personifying OCD Helps You Win
Explore how separating OCD from who you are can make it easier to respond with ERP rather than react with compulsions.
OCD’s Not Always Wrong, But That Doesn’t Mean It’s Right
Understand why accuracy does not equal authority when OCD weighs in.
Treat yourself with more compassion
Many people with OCD are far harsher with themselves than they would ever be with someone they love. This section focuses on shifting how you respond to yourself so recovery is supported rather than undermined. Self-compassion is not about letting OCD off the hook. It’s about creating the conditions where positive change can flourish.
What Everyone Wants
Explore how you’re not as alone as you might feel and the common desires that bind us together as humans.
I’m an OCD Therapist With OCD. And I Don’t Do ERP Perfectly
See why imperfection is not a failure in ERP but part of learning how to live with uncertainty.
Aha! Moments From Self-Compassion
Explore how self-compassion supports ERP by reducing self-punishment and freeing up energy for meaningful action.
Excerpt From the Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD
Get a glimpse into how practicing self-compassion can help you respond to OCD without turning recovery into another performance test.
Show Yourself Some Love!
Learn why treating yourself with respect and care isn’t indulgent, but a powerful way to stay engaged in recovery.
Self-Punishment as an OCD Ritual
Learn how practicing self-compassion interrupts self-punishment rituals by weakening shame, self-blame, and the belief that kindness must be earned.
Change how you respond to anxiety
If we treat anxiety like the enemy, something to eliminate before you can move forward, OCD uses that to its advantage to keep us stuck in compulsions. This section invites a different approach, one where changing changing how you respond to anxiety can turn it into a powerful ERP tool.
The 5 Secrets OCD Doesn’t Want You to Know about Anxiety
Reframe your relationship with anxiety by learning why it isn’t the enemy, how compulsions actually fuel it, and how seeing anxiety differently opens the door to ERP.
You Want Me to Want My Anxiety?
Understand why allowing anxiety is something you already do as you pursue a meaningful life.
When Fear Stops Making Decisions For You
Explore what shifts when fear stops running your choices and you begin responding based on what matters to you
Attitude Matters If You Want to Beat OCD
Learn how your stance toward thoughts and feelings plays a central role in recovery.
The Best TED Talks for People With OCD: Part 3
See how reframing anxiety as something you can work with, instead of against, opens the door to courage and sustained recovery.
The Best TED Talks for People With OCD: Part 2
Learn why posture, presence, and embodied confidence (even when you don’t fully feel it) can influence how you face fear and respond to anxious sensations.
Approach exposures with intention: a new attitude toward ERP
ERP is not just about what you do. It’s also about how you do it. This section focuses on the attitudes that shape whether exposures feel punishing or empowering.
Act As Though OCD Is Irrelevant
Learn how turning your attention away from OCD physically and mentally is the foundation of good exposure.
Why ERP Homework Matters to Your OCD Recovery
Understand why what you do between sessions often determines long-term progress.
Face Your Fear: Transform Your Triggers to Win
Explore how triggers can become opportunities to practice getting stronger.
Turn “I Have To” Into “I Want To”
Discover how shifting your internal language can change how ERP, or any challenging task, feels.
3 Ways to Power Up Your OCD Therapy
Explore attitude shifts that often separate stalled ERP from meaningful progress.
Want to Make ERP More Effective? Ask Yourself This.
Ask yourself these two questions after doing ERP to uncover how to make your exposures even more effective.
Aha! Moments from the 2014 IOCDF Conference
Step into the bring it on, baby mindset, with hard-earned insights on approaching ERP with intention.
Build motivation for ERP practice
Sustaining motivation for treatment is an important component of reclaiming your life from OCD. This section offers ways to keep going even when enthusiasm fades or resistance shows up.
Motivating Yourself to Do ERP Therapy for OCD
Learn practical ways to move forward even when motivation feels low.
The Bittersweet Truth About Uncertainty That OCD Ignores
Explore why uncertainty can be both deeply unsettling and the spice of life.
OCD vs ERP: Which Will You Choose?
Clarify the everyday choices that quietly shape recovery.
A Simple Motivation Trick: This Before That
Discover how small sequencing changes can reduce resistance and increase follow-through.
Ruby Campbell’s Gift to the OCD Community
Ruby Campbell’s spirit lives on as we choose to swim forward to meet the waves.
Aha! Moments From Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan
Find out the surprising truth about the link between mindfulness and life expectancy as motivation to wake up to your life through ERP.
Bring fun and creativity into ERP
ERP doesn’t have to feel grim to work. Injecting fun, creativity, and even humor can dramatically change how exposures are experienced. For many people, this shift is what makes ERP sustainable.
The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD
See how humor and irreverence can disrupt OCD’s authority and help you respond with a bit of swagger instead of fear.
An OCD-Taming Attitude: Making OCD Pass Out
Watch Shala share a personal story from early recovery that illustrates how adopting a bold, empowered attitude can dramatically shift your relationship with OCD.
ERP for OCD: Fun With the Invisible Ink Game
Explore a playful exposure exercise that builds flexibility and confidence.
Think differently about recovery
Recovery is often misunderstood as getting rid of OCD entirely. This section reframes recovery as reclaiming your life with joy, even when some uncertainty and anxiety remain
Taming OCD and Reclaiming Your Life
Six steps to make the most of your recovery journey.
Why There’s No Cure for OCD
Understand why this truth can be freeing rather than discouraging.
The Unintended Consequences of Saying OCD Can Be Cured
Learn how cure-focused language can quietly undermine recovery.
Make space for other emotions
OCD doesn’t exist in isolation. Other emotions show up too, and how you respond to them matters. This section explores how to relate to the other often challenging emotions that accompany OCD without turning them into new struggles.
Emotions as a compulsion
The Subtle OCD Compulsion You Might Not Know You’re Doing
Discover how emotions themselves can subtly fuel a stealth OCD cycle.
Resistance to our emotions
Pain × Resistance = Suffering
Learn why fighting emotions intensifies distress and how reducing resistance helps.
Shame and vulnerability
The Best TED Talks for People With OCD: Part 4
Explore shame and vulnerability through a recovery lens.
Belonging and validation
The Need to Feel Seen
Understand why validation matters and how to seek it without reassurance.
Aha! Moments From Brené Brown on Empathy
Explore how empathy supports connection and self-trust.
Regret
The Truth About Regret: Part 1
Learn how OCD distorts regret.
The Truth About Regret: Part 2
Discover how to relate to regret without compulsive review.
Pain and grief
I See Your Pain
Explore a compassionate perspective on suffering and presence.
Lessons From Love and Loss of Lee
Reflect on how grief and meaning can coexist.
Grieving the Losses of Mental Illnesses
This episode of Kimberley Quinlan’s Your Anxiety Toolkit explores how grieving losses linked to OCD can open emotional space and support recovery.
A Letter From Grief
Gifted writer and poet Megan Fujimoto reflects that grief is “what love becomes when it has nowhere to go.”